it takes us two years to learn to speak, but a lifetime to learn to shut up.

arguing with people often comes from small things, which not only consume time, but also waste a good mood, but also very easy to cause an irreparable bad situation.

quarrelling is like tickling. The more you scratch, the more itchy you become.

sometimes, if you keep your mouth shut and calm your mind, you will be more able to be yourself and enrich your inner strength.

the ancients said:

"good words are not beautiful, good words are not believed; those who are good do not argue, and those who argue are not good."

A wise man never disdains to argue with others.

in life, we find that someone especially likes to argue with others, no matter what kind of person he is, he has to say a few words.

as a result, I spent a lot of time and emotion to make meaningless arguments.

the highest state of argument is not to argue, not to argue does not represent a right or wrong, but a clear conscience, disdain to compete with it.

it is a great pleasure to argue with wise people that we can learn knowledge from argument.

in the face of biased people, confused people, and people of different levels, their words are not equal, neither side can quarrel with each other, and they can only lose heart and effort.

in the face of such people, we should be lazy, not to provoke, not to lower ourselves.

Don't know right or wrong with biased people

people with prejudices have their own set of criteria for judging people and things, and it all depends on him to decide whether things are right or wrong, right or wrong.

on one occasion, the famous writer Mo Yan invited people to dinner. After everyone had had enough to drink and eat, there was still a lot of food left on the table. Mo Yan, who was born as a farmer, could not bear to waste, so he continued to eat.

at this time, someone satirized:

"look at Mo Yan. He has to eat his money back."

Mo Yan at that time seemed to get a loud slap in the face.

later, before going to dinner, Mo Yan drank two bowls of porridge and two steamed buns to fill his stomach.

but one person said:

"look at Mo Yan's fake strength, as if he could eat like Jia Baoyu with only his front teeth."

therefore, we should not make superfluous explanations with biased people, and there is no need to change ourselves in order to cater to them.

because no matter what you do, it is wrong in the eyes of a biased person, and if you explain something to him, he will still think, "look, I was right!"

Samuel Johnson said:

"those who are prejudiced are always weak."

people with prejudices are mostly dissatisfied with their lives, and they refuse to admit their paranoia and weakness.

it seems that if you target others with words, you will easily win a sense of superiority.

beware of the prejudiced person who learns that others are better off than he is. He thinks that others are pretending, and that they are worse off than he is. He thinks that others are selling pity.

as everyone knows, people with prejudices lose not only their friends but also their own character when they show off their prejudices.

talking about the right thing with the right person is an addition to both.

talking about the right thing with the wrong person must be a subtraction to the wise person.

therefore, it is unwise to know right and wrong with biased people.

Don't compete with confused people

there is a passage in A Dream of Red Mansions:

once, Yingchun's servants did not admit to stealing, and all the sisters in the house asked for justice, but Yingchun himself looked indifferent.

Lin Daiyu said:

"if the second sister is a man, how will the size of the family be treated in the future?"

as we all know, a Dream of Red Mansions has thousands of sorrows for daughters. Women can't wear armor and perform military meritorious service, but they can break new ground in the backyard.

the Jia government is not in charge of Jia Zheng or Jia Lian, but Wang Xifeng.

as a matter of fact, Lin Daiyu, who is also a daughter to be married in the boudoir, is embarrassed to say Yingchun: "if you are like this, how can you be the housekeeper after you get married?"

so Daiyu used "if the second sister is a man" to exhort.

but Yingchun did not understand what Lin Daiyu meant and replied with a smile, "how many men are still here, not to mention me?"

after hearing this, Daiyu said nothing more, but looked at Baochai next to her and smiled.

the end of Spring Festival is the end of life under the bullying of her husband Sun Shaozu.

A big mistake in life: explain the vernacular to a confused person.

as the saying goes, dealing with smart people is like a spring breeze, while dealing with confused people is a breeze when things go wrong.

Confucius said:

"what you can't say with it is called a slip of the tongue."

Confucius believed that there are some things you can't say when working with people who don't understand, because even if you say it, the other person can't understand it. Talking too much will only add to your troubles, and even bring you unnecessary trouble.

I have heard such a joke before:

in ancient times, two people quarreled. One said 446, the other said 448. In the end, the Fu Ya let the county magistrate decide. The county magistrate finally acquitted the 448 people and sentenced the 446 people to 30 boards.

, some people questioned why the county magistrate was like this. The county magistrate said, "if you argue with a confused person, you will be more confused. If you don't hit him, you won't hit anyone."

Wise people don't argue with confused people, and reasonable people don't get confused.People look for a sense of existence.

because we can't convince a confused person, just like we can never wake a person pretending to be asleep.

the reason of a fool is different from the sophistry of philosophy.

sophists will use some theories to prove their deceptive views, which is often used by debaters in debate competitions.

people who are confused don't bother to prove their views at all, and most of their remarks are full of "just like that" and "that's it".

arguing with confused people, smart people no longer have the advantage, because no matter what you say, he says, "that's the way it is, you have to say that" makes you speechless.

confused people have their own confused reasons, and in their world, those confused reasons are the truth.

this is one of the reasons why you should not argue with stupid people, because there will be no results, but the other person will think you are stubborn.

Don't argue with ignorant people

Qi Harmony, a collection of pre-Qin mythology:

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"Peng migrated to the south, struck three thousand miles, helped him rise 90,000 miles, and went to rest in June."

Zhuangzi's "carefree Journey" mentioned:

"Hsu and Xueyu laughed and said,'I decided to get up and fly, snatched elm trees and stopped, but the time was not right, but I was in control of the earth, and I took 90,000 miles to the south?'"

A person's living environment determines his own cognition, and he will inevitably encounter ridicule from "cicadas" and "turtledoves" in his life. In fact, we can ignore it.

if we argue with it seriously, we will be pulled down by each other, and we certainly have no chance of winning in each other's skillful low-level cognition.

Life and death of fungus grass do not know the night and dawn. Cicadas born in spring, dead in summer and dead in summer and autumn, do not know that the year is divided into four seasons.

it is also mentioned in "Happy Journey":

"in ancient times, there was a big tree called Ling Turtle in the south of the State of Chu. It regarded five hundred years as a spring and five hundred years as an autumn.

in ancient times, there was a kind of tree called Toona sinensis. It regarded 8,000 years as a spring and 8,000 years as an autumn. "

never quarrel with the frog in the well, the sky it sees is a round plan, and the sky we see is infinite.

as the saying goes, "how can a sparrow know the will of a swan?" Why should we ask fungus grass and cicadas to have the bosom of turtles and Toona sinensis?

there is such a short story:

two people with old feuds meet on a narrow bridge, and one of them is the first to provoke:

"I never make way for dogs."

the other person turns sideways with a smile:

"and I'm just the opposite, you go ahead."

arguing with people with different cognitive levels and themselves is not only inconclusive, but also undoubtedly a hindrance to themselves.

argue with ignorant and stingy people, the winner is never the smart one.

not arguing or arguing is the most advantageous way to fight back.

▽

at all times, at home and abroad, truly successful people never do unnecessary things, nor do they argue with unnecessary people.

try to convince others, it is better to read and drink tea by yourself, cultivate your mood and look for your own new improvement.

looking back at us in reality, we will inevitably argue with others, argue about life, work, experience, and truth.

since you can't avoid arguments, make some meaningful arguments.

avoid those who are biased, confused, and short-sighted. Only in this way can our every argument be positive and add to ourselves.

what people really need to care about in this life is to follow their own heart and value their own ideas. People with rich hearts will never live in the eyes of others, let alone in the mouths of others.

Zhou Guoping said:

"when everyone is born into this world, there must be a position most suitable for him, which seems to have been prepared for him at his birth, waiting for him to claim it one day."

it is impossible to argue with people in different positions.

, may you go your own way, stick to your own direction, find your own position, and not change the course of your life because of others, and live your true self.

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